by Monica Palmer
This morning, as I groggily reached into my fridge to grab the creamer for my coffee, I was greeted by a giant blob of frozen fowl. Our Thanksgiving headliner smugly reminded me that I have a day of cleaning followed by a day of cooking followed by another day of cleaning in my near future, because my husband and I are hosting Thanksgiving dinner at our house. I gave a little sigh, took my creamer out, and shut the door with more force than necessary for the job.
After I had my second cup of coffee, I was able to focus on the cheerier aspects of hosting a holiday dinner for our family. While it’s true that I am not a fan of domestic duties like cleaning and cooking, I do thoroughly enjoy having a group of loved ones gathered around my table, enjoying a meal together.
I’m not a genius in the kitchen. My skills are mediocre at best, so the satisfaction I feel when serving food to my guests isn’t really about pride in my artistry or talent. It’s deeper than that. It’s as if there is some primal need in me to feed others.
I am convinced this need developed when I became a mother. I remember after both of my children were born, the very first thing I wanted to do was feed them. Researchers have seen the pleasure centers in new mothers’ brains lighting up like Christmas trees as they fed their offspring. Conversely, the words, “Mom, I’m hungry” can trigger a visceral alarm in a mother to rival a response to her children’s cries of pain.
A mother feels elation at feeding her child’s hunger, and she feels panic at the thought of not being able to meet that need.
My explanation for this is simple, and every stereotypical Italian Mama knows it…food is love. When you feed others at your table, you offer them a bit of yourself. Your time, your energy, and your love are all mixed in to the food you serve. To witness your children and your family gobbling up the food you offer is immensely validating, because you know that your love is necessary.
Before you get swept up in the joy of the holiday and being thankful for all that you have, give a moment of your time and energy to consider those less fortunate. There are mothers and fathers and other caregivers that feel the same instinctual need to feed their families, but they are unable to do so, because of a lack of resources. On top of her own physical hunger, a mother may be suffering emotional and spiritual pain, because she is unable to give her love to her children through the simple act of feeding their basic human need for food.
Fortunately, a good deal of our neighbors in need will be able to enjoy a Thanksgiving meal, because of the tireless work of Missouri food banks and the donors, volunteers, and employees who collect and distribute food to the hungry in our state. These meals represent the love we have for our neighbors and the hope we feel for our collective future.
You can satisfy your internal need to feed others by donating your time and/or resources to your local food bank. When you do, you will enjoy your family’s celebrations all the more, because you will know that you have helped someone experience the joy of sharing a meal and their love with their family.