by Monica Palmer
Downstairs, in the unfinished part of our basement, there is a shelf. We call it the “fix it” shelf. All things that can be fixed with duct tape, glue, or fresh batteries, are placed on that shelf, and my husband fixes them. Sure, I could easily fix most of the things myself, but I don’t, because I know my husband really enjoys being Mr. Fix It.
Yesterday, for Father’s Day, I asked my kids to list their favorite things about their Dad, and at the top of my son’s list was the fact that, “Dad can fix anything.”
That simple statement carried a lot of power. It had the power to make my husband feel proud and loved, but it also set up an impossible expectation that no Dad could possibly meet.
Dads can’t always fix everything, and the day their kids learn this can be a hard day indeed for both father and child.
The father of a household where food insecurity exists must come face to face with the brutal fact that, for one reason or another, he can’t fix the fact that his family doesn’t have enough food. This can be devastating, because he knows his children are looking to him to solve the problem. He may be having trouble finding work or buried in medical debt. He could be lost and feeling like there’s no way to be the man his children think he is.
It’s easy for parents in this position to feel imprisoned by pride. To maintain their children’s faith and positive perspective, they will do just about anything before asking for help, simply because we live in a culture that values self-sufficient bootstrap pullers.
If pride and shame could just be erased from the picture, the logical answer for any family in need would be to simply ask for help. Help eliminates parents going without meals so their kids could eat; help ends sleepless nights full of anxiety about tomorrow; and help gets everyone to a better place much quicker than doing it on their own.
I am sure that some fathers who need to visit food pantries to feed their families feel they have lost their Mr. Fix it status and now bear a brand of shame in their children’s eyes. The thing is, these children have an opportunity to see that the world is full of fixers who are willing to help each other when problems are too big for one person to fix. This may actually inspire some children to go on to become great fixers themselves.
If you’d like to be a Mr. or Ms. Fix it in the life of a family in need, consider volunteering your time or a giving a gift of food or funds to support the work of the six Feeding America food banks in Missouri.