By Monica Palmer
I took my 6 year old to a birthday party this past weekend. The big highlight of the party was the breaking of the piñata. I admit that I questioned the safety (and sanity) of an activity in which young children are blind folded, given a big stick and told to swing at a moving target. That said, I’ve never heard of anyone being killed in a horrible piñata accident, so I stepped back and watched my son join in the fun.
There were actually several treat-filled piñatas to be bashed, because the host parents wanted to make sure that all the children had a chance to take a whack. I watched with shock and awe as the first piñata went down. In seconds, children swarmed around the crushed carcass, scooping up treats like hungry beasts. Even my son, who still has Easter candy in the treat bowl at home, was diving into the fray like those sweets were the first he had ever seen.
After the commotion died down a bit, my Mom-radar went off, because several of the kiddos had begun to cry and complain. It seems these underdogs lacked the muscle or the fearlessness to score their share of the prize. I watched as some moms consoled and others chided their children for making a scene. The thing I found incredibly interesting was the reaction of the other kids, who were seemingly oblivious to the situation. They were just so caught up in all the excitement that they didn’t notice those less fortunate than themselves.
I decided to conduct a little social experiment. I walked over to my son, who was comparing his haul with a couple of older boys, as he waited in line for his turn with the next piñata. I kept my tone casual, so as not to influence his response to the situation. I simply asked, “Did you know that some of the kids didn’t get any candy at all?” His surprise registered for a moment, but quickly disappeared as one of his neighbors declared, “You snooze; you lose.” Another boy laughed and threw up a high five for his buddy. My son chuckled as well, and my heart broke a little.
My faith in the future was restored, however, when piñata number two bit the dust. Several of the children who overheard my question actually went out of their way to make room for the smaller kids. One even grabbed a handful of candy and threw it up and out, so the kids on the outskirts could get to it. Finally, my broken heart mended as I witnessed my boy reaching into his own bag and sharing his candy with a younger boy who had none. There’s really nothing sweeter than catching your kid doing the right thing.
Studies have shown that very young children will respond to another child’s cry with concern and attempts to comfort. This happens when we gain the ability to empathize with the feelings of another human being. We begin to be able to imagine what it would feel like to experience a situation from someone else’s perspective. Some researchers maintain that we are predisposed to recognize and respond to the needs of others.
One in six Missouri families is struggling with the basic human need of having enough food to live a healthy and productive life. What did you just feel when you read that statistic? Perhaps you thought “You snooze; you lose. Glad my pantry’s full.” You probably didn’t go to that extreme, but some negative thoughts may have popped in to your head. You see, as we get older and “wiser” our ability to empathize with others becomes somewhat compromised.
As a society, we’ve become very savvy at justifying our inaction when confronted with a problem which cries for our attention. We tell ourselves that if we gave help to every person or organization that asked for a hand out, we’d have nothing left for ourselves. We abuse our empathy by imagining the smugness and audacity of the people we’ve heard about who are abusing safety net programs and helping agencies. It’s easier for us to imagine the people who abuse help, because it gives us a reasonable excuse to ignore the problem.
So, stop imagining those scenarios for a second, and try to employ your empathy as you read the following situations: Today, a Mom is skipping lunch, so that her child will have enough to eat for dinner. There’s also a kid that can’t concentrate in her class, because all she can think about is food. A senior citizen is currently facing the harsh reality that he will have to choose between paying for his heat and buying groceries this winter. Can you imagine what these people feel like?
Even a child can imagine what it feels like to be left out and lacking. I didn’t tell the children at the birthday party what they should do to help the other children. I simply told them that some kids didn’t have any candy. They did the rest themselves. Let’s make solving food insecurity in Missouri more like child’s play. We can make sure our neighbors in need have access to good food by supporting the food banks with our contributions of food and finances. We can also volunteer our time at a pantry or soup kitchen where we can actually see the grateful faces of those in need. Don’t do it because someone told you that you should. Do it, because you instinctively know it’s the right thing to do…and because it would make your mother very proud.